My Unforgettable Experience at Sabarimala: Ayyappa Was My Officer

Religious Desk, Delhi Magazine: Since childhood, I have loved Lord Ayyappa with all my heart. I grew up watching the Sabarimala pilgrimage, following the journeys of the devotees and admiring their deep faith in the Lord. I have always loved Ayyappa devotional songs, especially those sung by K. J. Yesudas. His voice touches me deeply, and whenever I listen to those songs, I feel a special connection with Ayyappa. My devotion has been part of my life since I was young.

But among all the memories I have associated with the Lord, one personal experience at Sabarimala stands apart. It is a memory I have carried in my heart, and my belief about what happened has never changed.

When I went to Sabarimala for Lord Ayyappa’s darshan, I felt something I still find difficult to explain. I felt as though Ayyappa himself was calling me to come and see him. It was a feeling that came from within me, and I remember it even today. I cannot tell you exactly why I felt that way, but I know what I felt at that moment. I had gone to Sabarimala to see the Lord, and somewhere deep in my heart, I felt that he was drawing me towards him.

During my visit, something unexpected happened. A person I did not know told me that an officer was calling me and directed me to go to the temple. I did not know who this officer was, and I had no reason to understand why I was being called. Still, I followed the person’s directions and went straight to the temple. At the time, I could not have imagined how clearly I would remember this small incident years later. What seemed like a simple instruction became an unforgettable part of my personal experience at Sabarimala.

When I reached the temple, there was no officer there. This is the detail I remember most clearly. The person had told me that an officer was calling me, but when I arrived, no officer was present. Yet I was able to have darshan of Lord Ayyappa without standing in the queue. I remember what happened, and I have never forgotten the unusual way in which the incident unfolded. I do not need to add anything to the story or make it sound more extraordinary than it was. The experience itself has remained powerful in my memory.

Even now, I sometimes ask myself who that person was and why he told me that an officer was calling me. Why did he direct me to the temple when there was no officer waiting for me? I do not have answers to these questions. I have thought about the incident many times, but I cannot explain it in an ordinary, definite way. Still, whenever I return to this memory, my heart tells me the same thing: Lord Ayyappa himself was my officer, calling me to his presence. That is what I have believed since the day it happened, and it is what I continue to believe today.

I am sharing this experience because it means so much to me personally. I am not asking anyone to accept my interpretation or claiming that I can prove what happened through evidence. Others may see the incident differently, and I respect that. But I cannot deny what the experience has meant in my own life. I remember the person’s words, the absence of an officer and the darshan I received without standing in the queue. Above all, I remember the feeling that Ayyappa was calling me. To me, these memories are inseparable, and together they have strengthened my devotion to the Lord.

My love for Ayyappa began long before this visit, through my childhood memories of the Sabarimala pilgrimage and the devotional songs I have always cherished. Yet this experience gave me something deeply personal to remember whenever I think of him. Even today, when I listen to K. J. Yesudas singing Ayyappa songs, my thoughts return to the Lord and to my visit to Sabarimala. I remember that day with affection and gratitude. I may not be able to explain the incident to another person in a way that convinces them, but I do not need their agreement to know how deeply it has touched my heart.

As I look back on my visit, I feel grateful that I had the opportunity to have Lord Ayyappa’s darshan. I went to Sabarimala to see him, but I returned with a memory that has stayed with me throughout the years. I still do not know who the unfamiliar person was or why he said that an officer was calling me. I can only speak honestly about what happened and what I believe it meant. For me, Lord Ayyappa was not simply the deity I went to see. He was the officer who called me to him. I believed it then, I believe it now, and this experience will always remain close to my heart.

Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa!