Life Mantra: How to Find True Happiness in Life

Life Mantra, Delhi Magazine: Happiness is a way of life, not something to be acquired and possessed. Many people spend their entire lives pursuing happiness, yet they often remain dissatisfied. True happiness comes from within rather than from external circumstances.

According to Buddhism, happiness is not determined solely by what you possess or who you are, but also by how you think and perceive life.

Happiness is a state of contentment, fulfilment, and satisfaction. Philosophers have offered different perspectives on this subject, but one important idea remains: happiness can be cultivated from within.

People may find happiness in doing work they enjoy, even if it does not always provide financial rewards. Conversely, earning money does not necessarily guarantee happiness.

Researchers have explored ways to overcome the well-known paradox in which the constant pursuit of happiness can sometimes make people unhappy.

What Is Happiness?

According to Buddhism, happiness is closely connected to the way we think and perceive the world.

A large body of research over the past few decades has explored happiness as an independent phenomenon. Tal Ben-Shahar has discussed the subject of happiness and well-being in his work on positive psychology.

At the same time, research by a team at the University of Denver, including work by Iris Mauss and her colleagues on the pursuit of happiness, suggests that placing excessive importance on achieving happiness may sometimes have negative consequences. For example, studies have found that people who place a high value on happiness may be more likely to experience loneliness, which is associated with depression and other mental health difficulties.

Lead study author Iris Mauss has suggested that an intense focus on achieving happiness can cause people to neglect other important aspects of life, such as relationships and self-care. Ironically, these may be among the very things that contribute to happiness.

“The solution to this paradox is to value (and pursue) those things that indirectly lead to happiness,” writes Ben-Shahar.

An expert framework identifies five important areas of well-being that can contribute to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Physical Well-Being

Psychological and physical well-being are closely connected and influence each other. Happiness is affected by both the mind and the body.

To support our happiness, we should take care of our physical needs by exercising regularly, eating nutritious food, and getting sufficient sleep.

Spiritual Well-Being

Many people associate spirituality with religion, particularly with faith in God. However, spirituality can also be explored independently of organised religion.

According to this perspective, spiritual well-being involves finding a sense of purpose, meaning, and direction in life.

Intellectual Well-Being

The relationship between intelligence and happiness is complex. However, the way people use their intelligence and engage with the world can influence their sense of fulfilment.

Ben-Shahar notes that achieving high grades at school or university does not necessarily make children happy.

Curiosity, openness to new ideas, and deep involvement in the learning process are also important. These qualities contribute to intellectual well-being and personal development.

Social Well-Being

According to Ben-Shahar, happiness is not determined solely by money or prestige. The quality of the time we spend with people we care about is also important.

Healthy relationships are a foundation of a fulfilling life. Connections with friends, family members, and colleagues can all contribute to our well-being. Developing a healthy relationship with ourselves is equally important, as it can help us build healthier relationships with others.

Emotional Well-Being

Emotions play an important role in overall happiness. Our actions can influence our emotions, while our emotions can also shape our thoughts and behaviour.

Emotional well-being involves experiencing pleasant emotions while also learning to cope with difficult feelings, such as envy, disappointment, and sadness.

Tal Ben-Shahar believes that focusing on these different dimensions of well-being can help people avoid the trap of constantly chasing happiness. Personal growth supports spiritual well-being; regular exercise supports physical well-being; learning encourages intellectual well-being; spending time with loved ones strengthens social well-being; and relaxation can support emotional well-being.

Personal well-being also includes understanding our bodies and recognising the different ways people experience pleasure and relaxation. For some adults, masturbation can be a normal part of sexual well-being and may provide temporary pleasure or stress relief. However, its effects vary from person to person, and it is not a guaranteed source of lasting happiness.

You may also like to read: Female Masturbation: Techniques, Benefits, Importance and Limitations.

The Happiness of Reconnecting with Old Friends

Meeting old friends and former colleagues can bring a special kind of happiness. Shared memories and familiar experiences often come back to mind, reminding us of meaningful moments from the past.

These reunions can strengthen our sense of connection and belonging. The affection and attachment we feel towards people who have been part of our lives can contribute significantly to our happiness.

Freedom

Freedom is another important aspect of happiness. Money may provide opportunities and comfort, but it does not always guarantee the freedom to do what we want.

Restrictions, responsibilities, or circumstances can sometimes prevent people from travelling, enjoying their favourite activities, or making independent choices.

Having greater freedom to make meaningful decisions can contribute to a sense of fulfilment and happiness.

Success

Success can bring happiness to individuals and those around them. It can strengthen relationships and create a sense of pride within families, among friends, and in communities.

Success does not always have to be something extraordinary. Even small achievements can provide satisfaction, motivation, and a sense of progress.

Happiness in Relationships

Many people associate happiness with money, while others associate it primarily with relationships. However, personal well-being also matters.

When we take care of our emotional needs and develop a healthier relationship with ourselves, we may find it easier to build and maintain fulfilling relationships with others.

Healthy relationships involve mutual respect, understanding, communication, and realistic expectations.

How to Be Happy with What You Have

Here are some practical ways to cultivate happiness in everyday life:

• Take care of yourself. Do not consistently place other people’s needs above your own. Healthy relationships require mutual care and respect. Giving too much without receiving consideration in return can lead to disappointment.
• Make your own plans. If you want to visit a place or try a new activity, make a plan yourself. Invite your partner, family member, or friend to join you, but do not let their inability to join prevent you from enjoying the experience.
• Learn from your mistakes. Before blaming others, acknowledge your own mistakes and take steps to improve.
• Listen to your inner voice. Consider your own values and feelings while remaining open to thoughtful advice from others.
• Do work that makes you happy. Whenever possible, make time for activities that bring you satisfaction and fulfilment.
• Recognise the value of your efforts. Whether your achievements are small or large, appreciate the effort you put into reaching your goals.
• Communicate instead of arguing. Calm and respectful conversations can help resolve disagreements more effectively than constant conflict.
• Keep a calm mind. Listen carefully before responding, especially during difficult conversations.
• Avoid unhealthy comparisons. Comparing your life with other people’s lives can lead to unnecessary jealousy and dissatisfaction.
• Manage your anger. Take breaks when necessary and give yourself time to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
• Make your work creative. Look for opportunities to learn, experiment, and bring enthusiasm into your daily routine.
• Do not live only to impress others. Make decisions based on your values and meaningful goals rather than constantly seeking approval.
• Focus on what you can change. Life can be challenging, but constructive actions and healthier habits can make difficulties easier to manage.
• Take action when you feel unhappy. Instead of remaining stuck in negative thoughts, explore activities, relationships, and opportunities that may improve your well-being.
• Believe in your ability to grow. Have confidence in yourself while recognising that learning and progress take time.

How to Be Happy When You Are Alone

Spending time alone does not have to mean feeling lonely. It can be an opportunity to reflect, recharge, and develop a stronger relationship with yourself.

Here are some ways to make time alone more fulfilling:

• Practise gratitude. Take a moment each day to appreciate the people, experiences, and opportunities that make your life meaningful.
• Plant trees or care for plants. Gardening can provide a sense of purpose, connect you with nature, and make your surroundings more pleasant.
• Exercise regularly. Even a short walk or a few minutes of physical activity can help support your well-being.
• Meditate or pray. Choose a practice that suits your beliefs and helps you feel calm and centred.
• Choose your surroundings carefully. Set healthy boundaries with people and situations that repeatedly cause you distress.
• Use your time meaningfully. Explore hobbies, learn a new skill, read, or work towards a personal goal.
• Make time for reflection. Journalling or quietly reflecting on your experiences can help you understand your feelings and priorities.

Happiness does not mean feeling cheerful every moment. It means learning to appreciate life’s meaningful experiences, nurturing healthy relationships, caring for yourself, and finding ways to cope with challenges. By focusing on these everyday practices, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life.