During such tough times, what we need the most is immense care and love. Here we have, Dr. Aruna Kalra, Senior Gynaecologist at CK Birla Hospital, Gurugram, who loves to create a motherthly atmosphere for her patients. Let’s find out more about her on this Mother’s Day.
Question 1. Tell us something about your family and background?
Answer: I am the fortunate one as my parents in law and my mom stay with me under one roof as an integral family. Children learn humility, values, respect and bonding from grandparents; the highest virtues in being. My work hours are always unpredictable, normal vaginal delivery, emergency C Section, ruptured ectopic pregnancy or a patient with impending abortion; always needed me ready to rush to the hospital leaving anything or everything at pause. Whether it was a birthday party, parents’ teacher meeting or teaching them some important lesson before exams. All of it had to stop instantly because the patients needed me. My mother in law and mother raised my kids beautifully, however, I loved every day driving them to school and picking them up, attending each and every PTM, show and tell, form mornings, sports day, sri utsav, grandparents day, taking my daughter to golf lessons, kathak and tennis. Those were fun days, I so much was breathing every moment of their childhood. I cried sitting in the audience when they sang national anthem on the stage, clapped and waved when they achieved subject excellence awards. Waiting every afternoon with many other parents, drivers and household helps, outside the school gate for kids to come out from school, the smile they wave seeing me there, the demand for ice cream from the vendor outside school and my struggle to get that ice cream where many kids were surrounding the cart, hands extended with money shouting one or the other flavour.
Becoming doctor was a dream and I am living it. We are three sisters and my father taught us, that nothing is impossible. The most precious lessons are love and respect for each other, & where your rights end your duty begins. He made us achieve whatever we wanted though it must have been tough managing expenses from his job as a government clerk.
I followed my passion, diffusing optimism, compassion and hope in my patients; in return I received abundance of love and gratitude. But above all; my children were imbibing these qualities, they started idolising me. Insane working hours, mental exhaustion, not able to attend family functions or continuous life-long studies, didn’t deter them to choose medicine. My daughter is in medical college and aspires to be a surgeon.
And it is the biggest achievement; parenting well done. My lesson to them is “Competence and compassion are the most attractive virtues”.
Question 2. What hurdles did you face in your journey?
Answer: Though after reaching here all those hurdles seem so small and blurry, still I must pat myself and my family to never waver the support and faith in achieving my dream. Financial scarcity for not been able to pay the tuition fee, leaving my 3 months old daughter behind to join the OBGYN course, running pillar to post to get a job as resident, trying to manage an NGO run hospital against all odds are few of those to mention. My father’s belief in GOD and nothing is impossible phrase kept us afloat through meagre earnings. Happiness is all about happy, supportive, understanding, loving and caring family. My husband’s support as a protective and most loving father to my daughter. He raised a 3 months old toddler without her mother till I achieved my degree in 3 years. And struggles getting a job without any jack in the system, proving your excellence; learning new courses in ultrasonography, laparoscopy and infertility management, every step needed sacrificing family time, working extra hours for frugal monitory gain.
However, the journey was enjoyable; every minute of it. If asked to choose again, this is the same path I would walk-every time. Not able to attend family functions were compensated with tea parties with nursing staff post a hectic OT day.
I would rather be in the hospital labour room or OT than in any wedding or festival celebration. As I fondly tell my patients that on 6th day of my own C Section, I went to deliver one of my patients from the back gate of my house. All the relatives were gathered for big function when I sneaked out and delivered her before anyone could notice my absence.
“All the friction on the path to fulfilment makes us steady. Smooth is slippery.”
Question 3. What are your future plans/goals?
Answer: As an experienced gynaecologist, I want to make a comprehensive program for mothers to be; which will give new mothers a confidence as to how to deal with this whole new experience of pregnancy and motherhood. I always wanted to teach kids from not so well to do families, boys and girls who could be steered in right direction through proper education. We all are aware that our society needs girl empowerment and much is done, many plans, laws and enforcements to uplift the fairer sex, however in my opinion we are neglecting our young boys, they should not feel side-lined as once we girls were made to feel. Parallel programs for adolescent boys are also needed. They also need a structure, and discipline and an understanding of their growing up changes.
Another very dear topic to my heart is psychological support required for fathers to be. Fatherhood is as taxing as motherhood. It will be more rewarding if they take the responsibility and at the same time are understood by their family as they juggle between husband and son’s roles.
Lactation learning to breast feed is also a much required subject to be addressed constantly with empathy and thoroughness.
Question 4. What message would you like to convey through Delhi magazine?
Answer: Life is a journey. Don’t take it too seriously. Instead, try to live each moment. Try to live your passion and do not do anything that doesn’t give you happiness. Love what you do or do what you love because when you love your work, you build up positivity in yourself and that automatically gets passed on to your children. Try to be your kids role model, their inspiration and that can only happen if you start taking caring of yourself, your needs, your health and your happiness. Your kids are your reflection and if you are happy, you will definitely raise a happy family.
Dr. Aruna’s Qualifications:
Dr. Kalra did her MBBS (Graduation) from BRD MEDICAL COLLEGE, Gorakhpur and later did her masters MD in Gynaecologist and Obstetrics from KMC, MANGLORE. Dr Aruna has also done certified training in Ultrasonography and Infertility. She is Gold medalist in academic excellence in post graduation.