What is FWB – “Friends with Benefits”

Relationship Desk, Delhi Magazine: FWB stands for “Friends with Benefits.” In simple language, it refers to a relationship between two people who are friends and also engage in casual, physical intimacy without the commitment of a romantic relationship. In other words, they have a friendship with the added aspect of occasional sexual activity, but they don’t have the typical expectations or obligations that come with a traditional romantic partnership.

The core idea of ​​friends with benefits is to establish physical contact and satisfy sexual needs without having to meet regularly or develop deep emotional connections. This can be especially helpful for people who are not ready for a serious relationship or have limited time and resources to invest in a romantic relationship.

FWB (friends with benefits) or “friends with benefits” are good friends who can still sleep with each other from time to time without any obligations. Sex for friendship – that’s it. There is no love, no feelings, jealousy, etc. – only instincts and satisfaction of one’s needs. But what can all this lead to?

Scientists also asked themselves this question and decided to conduct a study: they gathered almost 200 people who have such privileged friends and asked how, in their opinion, such a friendship could end and are they currently discussing any boundaries?

A year later, they were all surveyed again to find out whether their opinions had changed. Here’s what the results showed:

• 26% of respondents have not changed their opinion and friends with benefits.
• 15% – started dating.
• 28% – gave up sex and continued to just be friends.
• 31% stopped both friendship and sex.

Now let’s look at the results of comparing the answers the first and second time:

• 59% of those who wanted to remain friends with their FWB remained friends.
• 40% of those who wanted to keep everything as it is – they kept everything as it is.
• Only 15% of 100% of those who wanted to start dating their friend with benefits were able to do so.

What happens? For the most part, such relationships result only in friendship and no love.

Why do friendships with benefits even exist?

It’s very convenient! You have a friend or girlfriend with whom you can cry, share something when there is no one else to talk to, and when there is no one else to have sex with – you still have that same girlfriend or boyfriend! At the same time, you do not need to meet her or his friends, parents, go to the country, and cook food. We chatted, slept together, and ran away. By the way, in America, such relationships are called ‘under-relationships.’

Why are they popular? People are more and more afraid of responsibility, and such relationships create the illusion that you seem to have everything you need for ‘happiness,’ but you have no responsibility for it. Of course, provided that you agree on everything upfront.

Meeting a friend can be an easy way to satisfy your needs in the bedroom while you’re looking for a new relationship. But it can also easily start to feel too real if there are no clear boundaries. And if only one of you starts to feel like this is real, your friendship may fall victim to a lack of boundaries.

So what can you do to make sure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking this is a real relationship? You set some rules.

Rules for FWB Relationships

A few simple rules will help both of you correctly understand what is happening between you. It also sets the tone so that you don’t have any awkward conversations after sex.

What rules do you need? I suggest these six.

1. Don’t introduce them to friends or family:
   • If they already know one of your friends or relatives, you cannot change that. But don’t introduce them to any additional friends or relatives.
   • When you introduce someone to your friends and family, two things can happen:
     • Your friends and family may think this is someone important to you.
     • You start to think that this might be someone important to you.
   • It’s also possible that your friend will think there’s something more going on between you if the boundaries haven’t been clearly defined.
   • You may also face a lot of awkward questions about relationships, which can be even worse if they come from your parents or grandparents.
   • Save yourself the hassle and keep your random buddy away from your friends and family.
2. Don’t make them part of your daily life:
   • Even though you may be friends, if you make them a part of your daily life, you will blur the boundaries of a physical relationship.
   • This means you don’t have to call or text them every day. Don’t get together every day for sex.
   • Keep communication casual. Limit it to details about getting together, occasional sexting if you’re into it, and very casual chats.
   • If you talk too much, you risk starting to feel like you’re in a relationship with him. You may start talking to them as if you were a boyfriend or girlfriend, and this may confuse both of you.
3. Don’t exchange gifts:
   • Perhaps you will see something somewhere that will remind you of them. Or maybe it’s their birthday or Christmas and you decide to buy them a gift. Do not do that.
   • Gift giving is another thing that can blur boundaries. If it’s an expensive gift, it may mean you think it’s a real relationship. But even an inexpensive, thoughtful gift can make your friend wonder if you think it’s more than that.
   • But it can also make you start to feel like there’s more to it than that. Unless you’re the kind of person who buys gifts for everyone, including the fake delivery guy and the gas station cashier, buying a gift for someone probably involves a close connection with you.
   • Don’t give them anything other than the sex you agreed to and maybe some gum.
4. Stop hugging and be smart about sleepovers:
   • Cuddling after sex is often one of the most satisfying moments, I’m sure we can all agree. But it also strengthens the bond between two people—a bond that you’re trying not to develop here.
   • You don’t have to immediately jump out of bed and get dressed again. But it’s a good idea to leave some space between your bodies rather than being wrapped in each other’s arms or holding hands.
   • Sleepovers should be something you also need to think carefully about. Obviously, if either of you has to drive long distance, you may feel awkward kicking them out to drive long distance home in the middle of the night or pay for a hotel room.
   • But as a general rule, you’ll probably want to skip or at least limit the number of overnight stays. Like cuddling, too many nights in the same bed can start to feel too real.
5. Skip dinner, movies, and all other “date night” activities:
   • You may be tempted to go out to dinner or watch a movie with your friend on a bargain basis. You may have other activities that you think would be fun. But again, this goes into “real relationship” territory.
   • This doesn’t mean you can never eat together or watch something together. But stick to things like bringing pizza when you’re dating or watching a movie on Netflix when you’re done.
   • If it feels like a date, it will change the tone of your casual relationship. So don’t do anything that looks like a date.
   • This includes group activities with mutual friends. If you’re going somewhere with a group, don’t sit together and pay for yourself (unless someone in the group pays for everyone).
6. Decide if you want full disclosure or separate lives:
   • Friends with benefits can be challenging because the casual nature of the relationship means a lot of privacy, but the intimacy of having sex with each other almost requires revealing information that you might not share with your regular friend.
   • You have to decide before you start dating if you want to know what’s going on in their life. Do you want to know if they are dating? Want details on who they’re dating? Do you want to know who they sleep with, if anyone, other than you? Would you rather not know any details about it unless it affects you – say, in the form of contracting an STD or them deciding to break up with you so they can see someone exclusively?
   • With this, it’s really important that you determine your own comfort level and stick to it. If you need to know when your FWB is sleeping with someone else, you should say so and insist on it. If they can’t or won’t give it to you, don’t move forward.
   • If you give in and decide to agree to know (or not know) details that you are not comfortable with, it will complicate the relationship with the CoP and make it much less enjoyable for you. Instead of enjoying the simple, casual physical relationship you’ve been looking for, you’ll instead be thinking about what you’re being forced to know (or not know), and this will slowly but surely destroy any pleasure you might be getting from the situation.

Make it work for you These are the rules that, when I’ve talked to others who have had many FWB relationships, come up over and over again. They seem to be proven for many people.

Benefits of Friends with Benefits (FWB):

Friends with Benefits (FWB) relationships can offer various benefits for individuals who are seeking a more casual and non-traditional approach to companionship. Here are some potential benefits of FWB relationships:

It’s important to note that while FWB relationships offer these potential benefits, they may not be suitable for everyone. Success in an FWB dynamic often depends on clear communication, mutual consent, and a shared understanding of the relationship’s boundaries. Individual preferences and expectations should be considered to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for both parties.

 

• Intimate Connection: Maintain a close and intimate connection with another person.
• Enjoying Friendship: FWB often builds on an existing friendship, creating a foundation of trust and familiarity.
• Sexual Satisfaction: Enjoy a satisfying sexual aspect without the need for long-term commitments.
• No Long-term Expectations: Experience intimacy and physical satisfaction without the pressure of long-term commitments or future expectations.
• Flexibility: Allows for flexibility in the relationship without entering into a romantic commitment.
• Open Discussions: Establishing rules and boundaries in FWB relationships often requires clear communication, promoting honesty and transparency.
• No Emotional Attachment: Lack of emotional attachment distinguishes FWB from typical romantic relationships.
• Focus on Physical Needs: Primarily focuses on meeting each other’s physical needs rather than becoming entangled in complex emotional or psychological aspects.
• Less Drama: FWB relationships may involve fewer dramatic elements often associated with traditional romantic partnerships.
• Judgment-Free Exploration: Participants can explore their desires and preferences without the fear of judgment from a committed partner.
• Exploration of Preferences: FWB relationships allow individuals to learn about their own preferences and desires without the pressure of a serious commitment.
• Smooth Transition: If both parties decide to end the FWB arrangement, there’s potential for a smoother transition back to a platonic friendship compared to the end of a romantic relationship.
• Accommodates Varied Lifestyles: FWB relationships can be more accommodating to individuals with busy or unpredictable lifestyles.
• Common Grounds: Participants may share common interests and activities, enhancing the overall experience of the relationship.
• Stress-Free Enjoyment: Without the expectations of a long-term commitment, participants can enjoy the relationship without the stress often associated with traditional dating.
• Autonomy: Participants can maintain their independence and personal space while still enjoying the benefits of a physical connection
• Avoiding Complexities: FWB relationships typically avoid the complexities and potential baggage associated with traditional romantic relationships.

Flaws of FWB

While Friends with Benefits (FWB) relationships can work for some individuals, they also come with potential drawbacks and challenges. Here are some common flaws associated with FWB arrangements:

1. Emotional Complications:
   • Issue: Despite the intention to keep emotions at bay, feelings may develop over time.
   • Impact: Emotional attachment can complicate the casual nature of the relationship and lead to misunderstandings.
2. Communication Challenges:
   • Issue: Clear communication about expectations and boundaries is crucial but often lacking.
   • Impact: Miscommunication can result in hurt feelings, unmet expectations, or unintentional breaches of agreed-upon rules.
3. Inequality of Feelings:
   • Issue: It’s common for one person to develop stronger feelings than the other.
   • Impact: This disparity can lead to imbalance, with one feeling more committed while the other wants to maintain the casual nature of the relationship.
4. Jealousy and Insecurity:
   • Issue: Even with clear boundaries, jealousy and insecurity may arise.
   • Impact: Knowing that your FWB may engage with others can trigger negative emotions and create tension.
5. Risk of Damaged Friendship:
   • Issue: If the FWB relationship ends, there’s a risk of damaging the original friendship.
   • Impact: The transition back to a platonic friendship may be challenging, and the friendship might not fully recover.
6. Social Stigma:
   • Issue: Society often carries a stigma about casual relationships, which can impact individuals involved.
   • Impact: Judgment from friends, family, or societal norms may affect the participants, leading to discomfort or secrecy.
7. Lack of Long-Term Satisfaction:
   • Issue: FWB relationships are typically short-term, providing immediate satisfaction.
   • Impact: If long-term companionship or commitment is desired, an FWB arrangement may not fulfill these needs.
8. Unwanted Expectations:
   • Issue: Despite initial agreements, expectations may change over time.
   • Impact: Participants may find themselves desiring more commitment or exclusivity, leading to conflict.
9. Risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs):
   • Issue: Engaging in sexual activity with multiple partners increases the risk of STIs.
   • Impact: Regular communication about sexual health and safer practices is essential to mitigate this risk.
10. Difficulty in Ending the Relationship:

• Issue: Ending an FWB relationship can be challenging emotionally.
• Impact: Participants may experience sadness, confusion, or a sense of loss when transitioning out of the FWB dynamic.

Research has also indicated that it can result in emotional harm within couples.. It’s important for individuals engaging in FWB relationships to be aware of these potential flaws, communicate openly, and regularly reassess the arrangement to ensure the well-being of all involved parties.

Things to consider before entering in to FWB Relationship