When young people get to know each other and start dating, at first the external and emotional attractiveness of partners plays the main role. A person in love does not pay attention to the features and shortcomings of his other half, or believes that they will not play a significant role in life together. But then, when young spouses begin to live together, it turns out that they have different habits, different views on life, even different values and interests. And here conflicts begin: none of the spouses wants to yield to the other, quarrels and scandals occur. And then – adultery or just a divorce.
How to save your marriage
How can such a sad scenario be prevented? First of all, even before marriage, young people need to take the issue of living together as seriously as possible. It is necessary to get to know each other not only as pleasant interlocutors or sexual partners, but as individuals with their own views and habits. If some views do not coincide, it is necessary to discuss what to do in situations where the spouses have different opinions on a particular issue. For example, who plans the family budget, how the expenses are made, who should bear the main financial burden, or whether it is distributed equally – all these issues should be discussed even before marriage, and more than once. And this does not apply to dreams or promises, before marriage, these are already worked out planning and spending mechanisms, and if your partner is a spender or curmudgeon. Silence and lack of communication are the biggest enemies of marital relationships.
Do not allow third parties to intervene in your marriage relationship
This is the 1st and most important thing to save your relation if you truly want. If the problem is between you, fix it alone, because when other people intervene, the ego of both of you grows and they no longer look for a solution, but instead try to show others who is the strongest, so they stop working as a team.
Give up pride
This is a toxic emotion for the couple that makes a healthy reconciliation unfeasible. The goal is not only to avoid conflict, but to get to enjoy the couple under the same roof. In this sense, independence within the couple is very necessary. “Both have personal experiences that they can tell each other when they get home and the relationship will be richer, but limits must be taken into account.”
It is essential to dedicate time, patience and tenderness to the spouse : love requires time, attention and vigilant dedication.
Those who are always in a hurry cannot perceive the reality of the other, for the simple reason that they cross their space without being surprised or touched by the presence of the partner.
Among the people who love each other there must be the necessary patience, at least the same that requires the fact of raising and giving a good education to a small child.
Regain their trust
Don’t talk behind his/her back, better tell your partner things up front. It is recommended that when arguing they put all the cards on the table. If you start to lose control, you better postpone the discussion. Stop to reflect, since you remember that with your words you can attack or hurt your partner very easily. Start looking for solutions and put your complaints aside.
Spending quality time together.
It may sound obvious because when you live together, the time you spend with your partner is continuous. But you have to find quality time: a dinner, a getaway somewhere you both enjoy, or a movie. The important thing is to disconnect from the problems of the day, the cell phone, the stress and connect those hours together only with your feelings enjoying a delicious meal or a fun conversation.
Enjoy the privacy
Intimacy with your partner is like food without which your marriage can become malnourished and sick. Sexual desire decreases when you stop trying to please the other and think selfishly only about your satisfaction. Sex is a world for every couple. Enjoy this moment and let yourself be carried away by pleasure and the discovery of new sensations, postures and foreplay. Never stop having fun and enjoying yourself as a couple.
In the first place, there must be a spark of love, enough to get excited or suffer for that person, even if there is no magic or the couple is already floating two meters above the ground.
Avoid criticizing your partner and seeing only their flaws. You can start by creating a mental scale, by this I mean that surely in your work you have employees under your charge who are late or do not know how to do certain things, however, you tolerate them with their defects since when putting them on a scale they earn more their virtues.
Respect and admire the other
Respect and admiration are also fundamental as factors of resistance to couple conflicts. For a conflict between the spouses to emerge, they must first necessarily have stopped admiring each other.
When mutual admiration is extinguished, the loss of respect – at first only gestural and verbal – is near.
Of course, if everything has already been tried and the bond does not succeed, forcing the situation is not a wise decision. Sometimes a breath, a while helps to understand what happens to us and thus connect with the other person. Taking distance is not synonymous with separating, but rather with reconnecting with oneself in order to connect with everyone around us.
Do not give up, I know that marriage is not easy, but in life the things that are worth the most are those that cost more work. And you, you have two paths: that of excuses or that of results, which one are you going to choose?
The main way to avoid divorce is mutual understanding and respect between spouses, which, in turn, do not exclude sexual attraction to each other. To do this, regardless of the circumstances, you need to spend time more often and longer as when you just met, only together and understand that the whole world is yours! In this case, peace will be guaranteed in the family, and quarrels will become only a way to throw off the accumulated steam, and they will be remembered in a few days only with a smile.