What is Sexual Intelligence and How to Develop it?

what is Sexual Intelligence

Relationship Desk, Delhi Magazine: Experts believe that there can be no norms in sexual life . Each person is so unique that it is impossible to fit his needs for intimacy, desires and taboos to the canons. But in this area there are real “excellent” and “lagging behind”.

The difference between these people is in sexual intelligence, which, according to experts, is more important than external attractiveness, a perfect body or a romantic setting. Those who have a high SQ are much more likely to live long years in a happy relationship with one partner, are less prone to depression and anxiety, and also seem more attractive to the opposite sex.

Sexual Intelligence

The good news is that sexual intelligence can be developed and is not difficult to do.

What is sexual intelligence and why is it needed

This term was introduced by US professors Sheri Conrad and Michael Milburn. In their opinion, a harmonious sex life is not an accident, but a combination of the ability to hear yourself and your partner, understanding your body and the ability to enjoy what is happening.

It is these factors that make up sexual intelligence. It, like the usual one, can be developed if you train skills. A person with a high level of SQ is self-confident, knows and accepts his body, is not afraid of his desires, fantasies and is able to openly express his thoughts and feelings.


Experts remind: sex begins with the head, therefore, in order to make relationships with a partner brighter, become more confident in yourself and take your intimate life to a new level, you need to work not only with the body, but also with beliefs, scripts and fears.

Only by freeing yourself from stereotypes, you can come to harmony with yourself – and this is the first step of high sexual intelligence.

How to increase SQ

Step 1: Time to discard the imposed myths

In the movies, we are shown that enchanting sex can happen to the first person you meet, it always looks aesthetically pleasing and certainly ends with a bright orgasm. Of course, this sometimes happens in practice, but this happens too rarely, and in other moments, many girls are convinced that something went wrong in their intimate life. After all, sex is not at all like the way it “should be”.

Start with sex education. Understanding that the intimate life of different people is incredibly diverse will calm and help you get rid of myths. You will stop waiting for “cinematic” scenarios and reproach yourself if everything did not go according to plan.

Step 2: Accept your sexuality

Taboos that are decades and hundreds of years old have made people ashamed of their desires, fantasies and thoughts about sex. A woman is required to be modest, naive, but temperamental and passionate at the same time. To meet someone’s expectations in an intimate life means to give up oneself.

And in order to achieve harmony, you need to understand what exactly your sexuality is. Talk to yourself to find out how often you really need sex (sometimes a high libido hides a thirst for warmth, love, security), what desires you would like to fulfill with a partner, how much you hear your body.

When you study your temperament, understand what you want from sex, intimacy with a partner will become much brighter for you.

Step 3: Learn to speak

After freeing yourself from myths, accepting yourself, it’s time to remember that there are two of you in bed. So, the partner must know how to please you, what you really want.

You would also like to read about different ways of female masturbation.

A person with a high SQ can both speak and hear a partner, as soon as this option becomes available, physical intimacy will reach a new level. And, according to experts, other areas will change along with it: a passionate person feels great in the profession, communicating with people and easily says “No” to uncomfortable requests.

Delhi Magazine Team

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